Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
