Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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