toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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