i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
