So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
