i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How external is "for external use only"?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
