I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize