I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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