The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
