i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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