after a month anything with tits is on the radar
do herpes really smell.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
