mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
