Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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