is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She made me pour olive oil on her.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
