he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
