Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
