Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
