Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
