Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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