Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
