If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
