Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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