Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
