We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
