Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
