So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
