Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
