Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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