After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
