I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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