Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
wow bdsm is so cute
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
