At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
