I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
