if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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