So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
