Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have aggressive nipples.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
