just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize