i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
