I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
