I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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