the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
