3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I could fuck to npr.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
