So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
