I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
