she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
