i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize