This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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