i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
