is your mom at the bar?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
