and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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