yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize