i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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