Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
