So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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