So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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