I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
