Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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