ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
