I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
