I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
