We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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