I showed him my bush... on skype.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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