We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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